


Them

by orphan_account



Category: Girls (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Drama, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Broken Promises, Exes, F/M, Fluff, Heartbreak, Jealousy, Multi, Smut, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-05
Updated: 2019-06-07
Packaged: 2020-04-08 09:14:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,477
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19104139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: In the end you shouldn't have been surprised. Not by Adam, not by his record, not by his choices.It didn't hurt any less, it didn't make the pain fade any faster.Seeing him with them, knowing that he went back time after time, it hurt.After all, he made you fall in love with him without even realizing it. He made you feel deeper.And in the end, he still went back to them.





	1. Dancing With A Stranger

**Author's Note:**

> Please be gentle! This is very first attempt at writing anything for Girls, so I'm so new at this.

You couldn’t get him off your mind. You couldn't rid yourself of his memory. The way he touched you, kissed you, spoke to you.

  
His filthy mouth that you loved so much, his thick cock teasing you. His hands grabbing at you, his voice as it whispered dirty things in you ear while he fucked you.

  
It was all Adam. And it was everything you missed, everything you wanted but couldn’t have.

  
Not anymore anyway.

  
You had him, you enjoyed him, you fell in love with him. That should’ve been your first mistake

  
You can't fall in love with Adam Sackler. Not while Hannah and Jessa are around. That was a mistake, something you should’ve stopped the moment you felt it.

  
You should’ve pushed him out of your life, you should’ve left. But you were addicted.

  
You were addicted to his lips, his voice, his hands, his dick.

  
You were addicted to his smile, his voice when he swore like second nature. You missed his charisma when he was on stage.

  
You missed him. You missed Adam.

  
You loved Adam.

  
You probably fell for him the moment you stepped on stage with him. The moment you heard his voice reading the lines opposite of you.

  
The way he smirked when you blushed as his eyes landed on you. The way he whispered filthy flirtations in your ear, the promises that he could make you a good whore.

  
You thrived on the dirty talk from Adam. You thrived on the way he seemed to fuck you into oblivion.

  
And then you fell. Then you fell hard.

  
But he wouldn't stay. You knew that. You should’ve known that. From the way he talked about Hannah and Jessa, you knew you couldn't compete.

  
So it shouldn’t have taken you by surprise when he went back to them. Hannah first, he went back to Hannah first.

  
He was like a moth drawn to her, no matter how dysfunctional their relationship was, he went back.

  
And then he went back to Jessa. He still had your number, you still had his. But he never called, never text.

  
You would cross paths a few times, your eyes still taken by his, your breath still catching in your throat when he was around. You were still so affected by Adam Sackler, and all he wanted was Jessa.

  
_Dancing with a stranger_

  
His hands met your hips, his lips caressed your neck, but it all felt so wrong. You wanted Adam, you needed Adam.

  
“You’re so fucking hot, you little whore.” Even now you heard his voice. You knew it wasn't him. It wasn't him grinding against you in the shady club.

  
It wasn't his hand that trailed up your thigh. It wasn't his lips that kissed you. It was a stranger, a man who you had met and decided to take home at the end of the night.

  
_Ooh, baby, baby, I'm dancing with a stranger_

  
The guy’s hands moved to cup your breasts, squeezing your ample flesh. You moaned, picturing Adam, though it would remain your dirty little secret.

  
“You wanna get out of here?” You turned and faced him.

  
For a moment, you saw Adam. You saw his black hair, his deep brown eyes that you adored, his smirk.

For a moment you heard his laugh, felt his hands gripping your ass.

  
“Yeah. Yeah let’s get out of here.” It wasn’t Adam. It was the guy who bought you a few drinks, it was the guy who whispered in your ear about his thick cock.

  
Jared? Jessie? Jamie? Whatever his name was, he would do for tonight. He would make you cum, he would give you your sex fix.

  
“Your place or..?”

  
“Yours.” You didn't like bringing men back to your place. Not since Adam left.

  
“I can’t wait to dive into your hot cunt.” _I can't wait to taste your cunt, you little whore. I can't wait for you to coat my cock._

  
“I'm going to fuck you so good.” He hailed a cab, his husky voice sending the wrong kind of shiver down your spine.

  
“I can't wait either.” Your tight, short dress was riding up your thighs by his hand, his eagerness to touch you.

  
“There's our cab.” You stepped toward the cab, your hand hovering above the door handle.

  
You were distracted briefly by the passing sight of Adam. He was with Jessa, his arm around her shoulders.

  
“Baby?” you yanked the door open and climbed in.

  
“Let's go.” You shuffled to the other side, eyes still locked on Adam and Jessa. He was smiling, laughing at something she said and it stung.

  
“You’re so sexy.” The guy sitting next to you placed his hand on your thigh, running his hand up your smooth skin. “I’m so hard for you already.”

  
Looking at his growing boner, you were hardly impressed. Nothing was as impressive as what Adam was packing. His thick and impossibly long cock was the stuff of wet dreams.

  
“Let me feel you.” You spread your legs, glossed your eyes and let the man stroke and prod your cunt.

  
“You’re already wet.” He pushed a finger into your waiting cunt, a groan falling from his lips as your walls encompassed his digit.

  
“You like that baby girl? You like when daddy fingers you?” _You like that whore? You like how my fingers feel in your aching cunt?_

  
“Yes.” You moaned and pushed your hips closer to his hand. “Yes, I love it.”

 

“I know you do.” _I know you want more._

  
“Fuck me.” You just needed to feel a cock in you.

  
“Not so fast, baby. We haven't even gotten to my apartment.” When the cab stopped, you got out a quickly as you could, the chill in the air cooling down your flushed skin.

  
“Let’s go. I need cock.” You let him drag you behind him.

  
You let him pull you up the stairs and into his apartment. You let him push you against his apartment door.

  
You let him pull down your dress. His lips attached to your skin, sucking your collar bone, fingers trailing up your thigh again.

 

_Are you fucking kidding me? Who does this shit hole think he is? He can't even finger fuck a whore properly._

  
“Bedroom.” You gripped his shirt and pulled it over his head. “bedroom.”

  
He drug your behind him again, pushing you down to lay on his bed. You crawled back, your head hitting the wall, your eyes on him.

  
He crawled on top of you, his unimpressive cock hard and ready, precum leaking from the head. He wanted you, he was aroused by you.

  
“I’m going to fuck you senseless.” You could hear Adam's laugh in your head.

  
_That fucking dick looks like it belongs to a child. Do you really think he can fuck you and fill you with that?_

  
“Fuck me.” You reached for his shoulders, pulled him down to your breasts.

  
As he lapped and sucked at your tits, you gazed at the ceiling, moaning softly.

 

“Does that feel good?” _You’re not moaning. You’re whining. This douche bag has no idea what he's doing._

  
“It feels so good.” You were lying 9 ways to Sunday, but you just needed to be filled.

  
“Just fuck me. Fuck me.” Your one night stand pushed himself up, looking down at you with a lusty smile.

  
“You want this cock baby?” his lips were on yours. He shoved his cock into your cunt, and you realized that you were right.

  
This guy's cock was less than half the size of Adam's. It was unimpressive and you doubt he would be able to bring you even close to an orgasm. It would be another disappointing night.

  
_This guy is a joke. What a fucking joke. I could fuck you better. I could fucking make you lose your mind. This guy is an idiot._

  
“It feels good.” You moaned out of sympathy, your hands gripping the back of his head.

  
You would fake it all. You had faked it all.  
And as the guy came inside you, as he found his release, you were brought to a harsh realization.

  
You would never get over Adam. He was too deep in your veins, in your heart, soul.

  
“Adam.” You mumbled under your breath when the guy rolled over and quickly fell into a slumber.

“Adam.”

 

 


	2. All I Want

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Right. So the song is All I Want, and the I chose a cover which is by Alexandra Porat

Having reality hit you like that, especially after having the worst sex of your life, made you pissed.

  
You would never get over Adam. Not fully. He would always be there in the back of your mind.

  
You would always hear his stupid fucking jokes, his laugh. And you would always be reminded that you were no Jessa, no Hannah.

  
You couldn't compete with them. Not when it came to Adam, they would always come first. He would always go back to them.

  
And what would your solution be? Throw yourself into your singing and acting career? Sleep your way through countless men until you became numb?

  
Move to an entirely different city so all of Adam would be removed from your system? You couldn't move. You loved New York. New York was your home, New York was where your agent was, your career was being built.

  
You couldn't leave but you couldn't get over Adam.

  
“Fucking shit.” You exhaled shakily. You were on the verge of crying again, that’s all you seemed to do since harsh reality smacked you in the face.

  
“Fucking hell.” You wiped your tears away, sniffling. “Screw you Adam.”

  
You forced yourself out of bed. You forced yourself to eat. You forced yourself to shower and take care of yourself.

  
You forced yourself out of your self pity, hell hole.

You had a career to focus on, you had acting auditions and singing gigs in small bars.

  
You didn't have time to focus on Adam Sackler. You didn’t have to time to remember the way his hands felt on your hips as he fucked you.

  
The way he nipped your neck, bit your shoulders. His stupid laugh when you would do something. The way he took care of you when you had pneumonia.

  
You couldn't focus on Adam, but you couldn't stop thinking about him. He was all consuming in the worst and best ways possible.

  
You exhaled slowly. You needed to push every thought of Adam out of your head and focus.

  
You had an audition, you had a meeting with your agent and then you had a singing gig later. Adam had to be the last thing on your mind.

  
He had to be non-existent today.

  
You shook your head and grabbed the cool handle of your apartment door. You searched in your bag for your phone as you opened the door, running into a body as you tried to step out.

  
“Fucking pay attention.” Your head snapped up, meeting Adam's intense deep brown eyes.

  
“What are you doing here?” your heart was pounding, your mouth got dry, your pussy started getting wet.

  
Just like that, having Adam standing in front of you, made you a mess. Seeing him in that’s stupid green shirt that pulled against his biceps and his stupid fucking smile, made you a mess.

  
“That’s the first fucking thing you say to me? After not speaking to me in months, that’s the first fucking thing you say to me?” His mouth was pulled into a sneer, his eyes narrowed.

  
“I don't have time for this Adam.” You needed him to move, you were going to be late if he didn't move.

  
“Fucking make the time.” You stepped back, eyes narrowed into a heated glare.

  
You clenched your hands tightly around your keys, the edge nearly breaking your skin.

  
He was standing there staring down at you with that stupid hot look in his eyes. How in the hell did he always look so God damn good?

  
“Excuse me asshole, I’m busy and I have an audition to go to. So if you wouldn't mind moving-“ your attempt to push past him went unnoticed.

  
It was like a butterfly trying to push an elephant. He was built and solid and he wasn’t moving.

  
“Audition was cancelled. I was supposed to go to the same one.” He crossed his arms over his chest, watching you.

  
“Fucking fantastic. That's just fucking great.” You seethed and rolled your eyes. “That's just what I needed.”

  
You turned back to Adam, his silence unnerving.

“What are you doing here? You can't be here.”

  
“I came to fucking talk to you since you haven’t been answering your fucking phone.” He took a step toward you, blocking you against your apartment door.

  
“I haven’t gotten a single text or call from you douche bag.” You placed your hands on his chest, trying yet again to try and push him away.

  
“Bullshit! You’re being a bitch and ignoring me and I’m fucking done with it! I'm fucking done!” You mustered all your strength and managed to push him aside.

  
“You haven't tried calling me in months. I haven’t received anything from you and them you show up at my door all pissed off? Fuck you, Adam. Fuck you. I don't owe you anything!” you felt the bubble of hurt crawling up your chest.

  
You felt your eyes watering, your throat getting tight. “You left me! You chose Jess and Hannah and you always will. What happened between us made it crystal clear. I was only a distraction. I was someone you used to get off and then when they wanted you, you went crawling back.”

  
You wiped your tears, your voice shaking. “I fell in love with you. Did you know that? Did you know that I loved you? You broke my heart, Adam. You broke me. And I have nothing to say to you anymore.”

  
You turned away and started jogging down the stairs. You couldn't look at him. You couldn't look at him, you didn’t want to look at him. 

  
It hurt too much.

  
*.*.*

  
“ _Cause you brought out the best of me_  
 _A part of me I'd never seen_  
 _You took my soul wiped it clean_  
 _Our love was made for movie screens_ …” your voice carried through the speakers. It was no lie that your inspiration to choose this song came from Adam.

  
“ _But If you loved me_  
 _Why did you leave me_  
 _Take my body_  
 _Take my body_  
 _All I want is_  
 _All I need is_  
 _To find somebody_  
 _I'll find somebody…”_ You looked up, into the crowd and saw the very face you were singing about.

  
He was staring at you as you sung, his brown eyes fixated on you and you alone.

  
“ _Like you._ ” Your voice drifted off as the last song ended.

  
You stayed for the small applause despite everything in you begging to run.

  
Run from Adam, run from your shit hole life. Just…

  
Run.

 


End file.
